Michelle Joslin | Rebuilding After Divorce

Ken Joslin9/28/202654:40

What if the reason your marriage keeps hitting the same wall has nothing to do with your spouse? At 52 years old, sitting in a therapist's office, one question exposed a wound I had been carrying since I was 12. In this live session from our couples weekend, my wife Michelle and I get honest about divorce, remarriage, blending a family, and the three commitments that changed how I love her. I was married for 27 years before my divorce. I went to 12 schools in 12 years and bounced between my mom and dad six different times. I pastored for over a decade and had no idea how much that childhood trauma was still steering my relationships. This episode is the story of what God revealed, what I got wrong, and what I'm doing differently now. Michelle doesn't hold back either. She shares what it's like to be on the receiving end of intentional love, why we're far from perfect, and how we repair quickly when we miss it. The three commitments we challenged every man in the room to make: Hold space. When she gets elevated, don't explain or defend. Help her feel safe, seen, and heard. Ask, "Do you need me to listen, or are you looking for my feedback?" Encourage her daily. Ephesians 4:29 says to let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth, only what builds up. Ask her, "How can I serve you better today? How can I love you better?" Create time to laugh together. It doesn't have to be big. It has to be intentional. We also walk through the most important 30 minutes of our week, our Sunday planning time, plus the five-minute nightly check-in that keeps us connected when life moves fast. This conversation lives in Frequency 8, Encouragement, inside the Relationships bucket of the Core 5. To encourage literally means to add courage to someone. It's one of the 14 Frequencies I unpack in my book, 14 Frequencies of Proximity. Timestamps:  0:00 Welcome to the session  0:51 Divorce, remarriage, and a blended family  3:40 Trauma patterns and a therapy breakthrough  12:04 Commitment one: hold space  20:21 Commitment two: encourage her daily  35:06 Commitment three: create time to laugh  38:55 Questions to ask your spouse  42:12 Plan the week and check in  50:06 Protect faith, health, and relationships first  53:50 Dinner plans and final charge Ken's new book, 14 Frequencies of Proximity, grab your copy at growstackdrive.com/14. #Proximity #KenJoslin #ChristianMarriage #BlendedFamily #FaithBasedEntrepreneurs #14Frequencies